Things That Calm Me Down

I know these are going to sound silly, but when I'm upset or just sad or even depressed from the doctors news here's what calms me down.

1) Praying
2) Reading the Bible
3) Watching certain TV shows, here's where it gets silly... 

TV Shows That Calms 

1) Gidget (with Sally Field)
2) Zoey 101
3) Anything Tinker Bell (lol, especially the Secret of the Wings)
4) My Favorite Martian ( Yes I have a thing for old TV shows)
5) Cartoons, try to hang onto your seat,,,,, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Smurfs, Snorks, Gummi Bears, Duck Tales, Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse.... Yes I know, but who cares, there fun, silly, and brings me peace....

Moving on:

4) Playing games, like nintendo games, pogo games, games on ipod, just playing games.

5) Looking at pictures of places that gives me hope, like pretty waterfalls, places I want to visit, paintings of imaginary creatures like fairies, lol. 

6) Listening to certain music, now if I really down sometimes listening to Johnny Cash will make me feel better, yes go figure but it does. Oh and pretty much anytime The Beach Boys will always cheer me up!! If every body had an ocean across the USA everybody be surfin like California.  And of course Christian music always makes me feel better.

7) Last, but most certainly not least reading my grandfather's sermons, looking at his picture, and imagining a world that's better because of him.  

Porphyria And The Unknown

So living with a rare genetic blood disease like Porphyria leaves you with a lot of the unknown, especially when the disease gets really bad and the doctors keep telling you bad news. Like recently the doctors told me I have a non alcoholic fatty liver, now a new test shows a enlarged spleen and some cysts around my heart. I can't help but think about my grandfather and his horrific death. Even though it was in the seventies before I was born, it's scary, because he suffered so. I trust in God and I believe that God will not take me before my time, before he's ready for me to go home. It's just fear and stress, and health issues, I can't begin to explain how it makes you feel. Especially if you have a grandfather who died in this horrific way and you have some similarities. I learned long ago all I can do is trust in God. I'm just tried, I'm tried of hurting, I'm tried of fighting to live each and every day. I just want to be well. I'm not giving up, I'm a fighter don't get me wrong. It just becomes a burden, like Apostle Paul said in the bible he had a thorn in the flesh, this is my thorn in the flesh, and it is a burden. But we learn that no burden is too big for God to handle. And Jesus Christ died for us, for our souls to save, our bodies to heal, he died for it all and with that we as believers know that by grace we are saved. By faith we have believed, and faith can move a mountain. So I have faith that God will see me through again. If there's one thing I could tell anyone who's hurting it's this, Faith makes all the difference!