Fusion

Infused by blood that's against me.
Tortured by pain that's inside me.
Bruised by others lack of understanding.
Stuck in a world that don't seem to care.
Trying to understand and make some sense of it all.
Falling through the cracks of my misunderstanding.
Wondering when this disease will be cured and quit plaguing me.

But knowing that God is always with me, and understanding that
He'll hold my hand and guide me.

MR. Mail Man

Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me a treat...
Send me some packages just for me.
A few boxes of some makeup, Then how about a few imported chocolates?
Oh Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me some treats...
Can't you do this one thing for me?
I know you at the post office know how to perform some magic.
Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me some treats...
No bills though please...
Only packages filled with goodies, or how about a new wide screen tv?
Mr. Mail Man please don't delay, patience isn't with me today.
I'm looking for you, won't you hurray up please! Mr. Mail Man!!

I can carry on for Christ!!

So you all know I have this rare gentic blood disease. And being that, it can cause me a lot of pain. There are days where I think I'm going to die because the pain is just too much for me to bear, it's too much for anyone to bear. It's as if I'm being operated on alive, and there are sharp knives stabbing me all over my body. And I pray to God for mercy, and He always shows me mercy. But one thing that gets me through the pain and suffering I go through since my disease is one of the most painful diseases out there. When I'm being attacked by the pain I think Christ died on the cross for my sins, all are sins, if He can bear that much pain, more so than any human would ever have to bear, surely I can get through this. And Jesus by the mercy of God gets me through it. Cause I know that Christ beared a lot more pain than I'll ever have to. And He always has and always will see me through my hour of pains.

The Blood of Jesus is on the Door Post of My Heart

In the old testament of the Bible God sent plagues to Egypt because they would not let Israel go. One of the plagues was every first born child would die. But God told Moses to have all the children of Israel to put the blood of a lamb on the door post of their houses and the death angel would pass over them. So they did this, and all the ones that had the blood on the door post of their house the death angel passed over, but the ones that did not, the angel of death came in and took the first born child.

Today we wonder how this could apply to our lives. Well it symbolizes the blood of Jesus. When Jesus died on the cross He died for everyone that had ever been born, to every one that was already alive, to every one that ever would be born. He died for the entire world to cover a multitude of their sins. But He can't cover your sin if His blood is not applied to the door post of your heart.

How do you get the blood of Jesus applied to the door post of your heart? First you must realize that you are a sinner. We are all born into sin. Then you must confess your sins to God, ask Him for forgiveness. And mean it in your heart, you MUST have a change of heart for God to come in and apply the blood of Jesus to your heart.

But, once you do accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, accept that He died on the cross for everyone's sins, for your sins, and on the third day God rose Him from the grave. And you are a new creation in Christ and the old things passes away and all things become new. You will feel so much lighter, you won't be burden down by your sins and the weight of guilt you carry. And when the angel of death comes by the door post, he will pass over you because you have the blood of Jesus applied to your heart. Now, I don't mean you won't ever die, but I refer to the angel of death as satan, and on judgment day, satan won't have anything on you. "The hold the devil had on me, he ain't got no more."

My life in Christ is glorious. I have problems every day just like every one. But, I take my problems to the Lord, and He provides me with the answer, or the strength to carry on. We must carry on, we must carry on for Christ.

Update 10/23/14

To this day I will take my hand and pray for our house and safety by applying this bible story to my life today. I take my right hand and move it over the door post of my door, I start with the left side of the door at the bottom and go up then I go to the middle from left to right then I go to the right side from top to bottom. I know that me doing that doesn't put anything on the door, it's just a way of praying that I use, I don't actually touch the door just use my hand in the motion of the blood being applied to the three sides of the door. It's my way of saying The Blood of Jesus is Here, and for satan to leave me alone.

The old comes back and the safe is unsafe!

Just when I thought it was over, just when I thought it was gone.
I wake up and find that my sickness has not yet run the test of time.
I find myself wallowing in a bed of despair. My sweat soaks through my bed, my body, my hair.
My blood is not normal neither is my life. I strive to work for God, and somehow I lagged behind. I know I've got to do better, I know that I can.
I know I still have it in me, cause I still hear the Angel's hymns. I know I still have it in me cause I still knew when the worst would be done.

This morning I found myself throwing up, sweat rolling off of me, my blood is somehow against me. This morning I found that old things die hard and that the sickness may never be done, but by the help of my God Jesus I am and I can overcome! AMEN!

God knows and is Waiting.

I know I grunt, moan, kick, and fight. But I really just want a normal life. I try to hide the way I feel, the pain I'm in, the tears I shed. I try to hide myself from the world. But I can't hide from everyone. God knows my heart and my hurts and pains, He knows my feelings, and every single ache and mistake I've made. He knows I'm tired and scared, and his hand is reached out to help me cope with all this. I know God understands me, he is the one who created me. I know he heals my hurt and pain, cause when I'm at my lowest he always brings me to higher ground. I know that I wouldn't be here today without the help of God and his mercy and grace. I know that God is watching me and has a pair of angels out to guide me. I know that God is here today, I feel his presence, mercy, and grace. I know that God loves me he hung on a tree and shed his blood for you and me. I know that God could do the same for you, if you let him in. Open up the flood gates of your heart, let go of your pain, forget about your past mistakes, and show God your ready for a change. God is ready to take you in. Will you open up for him?

Painful Accommodations

Wiffled by pain inside myself. Stuck by pricks of undefiend health.
Traveling in labor of no apparent kind, sharp knives stick, point, and grind at my insides.
Wallowing in ballows of pain, lights going out on a clear day. Spots appear and my eye sight fades as I grope for the bed and some relief of any kind.
Pain pills won't do it, heating pads can't help, I'm grumbled into a gigantic painful mess.
God, I cry in my desperation, please save me from my hour of these painful accommodations.
So I wait on the Lord, as He is my strength and slowing I regain sight and speech. My mind clears of painful thoughts, my body frees of painful pricks.
I know the Lord has been merciful to me once again. I know the Lord has saved me from myself, my pain, my mess. Thank you Jesus!