So those of you who have ever felt sad, depressed, lonely, etc; I'm here to tell you I know what your going through. I have real high highs and real low lows, (it's part of my medical condition) So I can understand the mental and emotional pain your in. The way I get through mine is by prayer, faith, and xanax. I know that prayer can make things happen. Faith can move a mountain. And God has always been my strength when times were tough and when they were good. He is the one that will stick with you through all bad and good. He will never leave or forsake you, it is us that leaves him.
Another thing to think of is this "It's all in the mind." Just tell yourself it's all in the mind, you can choose to be happy, sad, lonely, glad, depressed, uplifted, etc. When that feeling of depression or unshakable sadness comes over you, just remember we can choose how we want to feel. While I may not be able to stop this blood disease, find a cure for cancer, save the world from hunger or poverty, I can remember that I am in control of my own emotions. I can conquer this demon that tears away at my emotions and mind.
Cause after all It's all in the mind!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Christmas Time Is Here!
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Christmas is my favorite holiday out of all the holidays there are. Why? Because first it's when we celebrate Christ's being born. And it's a time of miracles, good cheer. When strangers are nice to each other for no reason at all. It's a time of hope, faith, love. When good things happen just for no reason at all. It's a time for family, sharing, caring. And also a time for snow!
I love singing Christmas songs, watching Christmas movies, seeing Christmas lights. It all feels my heart with happiness. I love seeing snow fall. Not like a blizzard, or sleet. Just simple snow where it doesn't stick on the road or cause problems, just when it's white and pretty to look at.
I love the cold, building a fire, drinking hot cocoa. And having a Christmas tree. I love when my mom insists on reading the stories her father read to her. The one about the trees, the little one or the donkey, and the story about the candy cane. Even though I could probably tell them from memory. Still hearing them again is nice.
Most of all I love feeling like God is close and it's a time for the whole world to see it. The doubters can't deny the good cheer and happy feelings. They can't run and hide on God's big day.
Merry Christmas all and Happy New Year!!
Don't spend a lot on presents and material things, but more importantly make God the center of your day!
Christmas is my favorite holiday out of all the holidays there are. Why? Because first it's when we celebrate Christ's being born. And it's a time of miracles, good cheer. When strangers are nice to each other for no reason at all. It's a time of hope, faith, love. When good things happen just for no reason at all. It's a time for family, sharing, caring. And also a time for snow!
I love singing Christmas songs, watching Christmas movies, seeing Christmas lights. It all feels my heart with happiness. I love seeing snow fall. Not like a blizzard, or sleet. Just simple snow where it doesn't stick on the road or cause problems, just when it's white and pretty to look at.
I love the cold, building a fire, drinking hot cocoa. And having a Christmas tree. I love when my mom insists on reading the stories her father read to her. The one about the trees, the little one or the donkey, and the story about the candy cane. Even though I could probably tell them from memory. Still hearing them again is nice.
Most of all I love feeling like God is close and it's a time for the whole world to see it. The doubters can't deny the good cheer and happy feelings. They can't run and hide on God's big day.
Merry Christmas all and Happy New Year!!
Don't spend a lot on presents and material things, but more importantly make God the center of your day!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Time For A Change
So this may be corny, but the brady bunch (yeah the old tv show), they have their own cd. And one of the songs is a time to change. And it talks about, well change. And listening to that song I think about all the different things I want to change in my life. Some of them are attainable, I can eat healthier, I could try and loose a little weight, I could exercise more. But there are some things that I can't change on my own. Having a rare genetic disorder is hard to cope with. I can't do normal things that people my age should be able to do. When I think about it I pray for God to heal me, and I would love for God to just completely heal me from it. But then I think what about all the other people out there that has the same thing I have. I want more. I want to be completely healed, but I want everyone else to be too. I want to find a cure. It annoys me to think there are smarter people than me out there, doctors for instance, you'd think someone somewhere would find something. But, in all fairness I do have the disease so I do have a better insight than most doctors. Because when you deal with something daily you know what makes it worse or better. So if I could find a cure that would be awesome. But anyways, back on track, sometimes there are things we would like to change and can't, we just have to trust in God to get us through the times we think we can't get through, and keep on looking towards a brighter future. Maybe my future contains finding a cure?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Bible Verses To Rember
Some of my favorite Bible verses are:
Romans 5: 3-11
"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement."
Romans 15-21:
"For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am: who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."
Romans 8 1-4:
"There is therfore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."
Romans 8 35-39:
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neihter death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 5: 3-11
"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement."
Romans 15-21:
"For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am: who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."
Romans 8 1-4:
"There is therfore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."
Romans 8 35-39:
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neihter death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Ashamed and Senior Year
Ashamed, not of who I am, but what I feel like inside.
Ashamed, not of where I come from, but what I deal with that I try to hide.
I'm ashamed of part, no most of my life.
There's nothing I can do to change it, believe me I tried.
Senior year of high school is probably the most memorable time for everyone.
High school football games, senior class trips, etc. Those were the days.
I spent very few times at football games that year. My senior class trip was to the doctors office.
Yes, senior year while everyone else was having fun, I was being poked, pricked, sucked of my blood till I came to hate the sight of a needle.
I was x-rayed, cat scanned, scanned with fancy equipment I didn't know existed before. I had to spend several entire weekends collecting my urine and stool specimens, refrigerating them, and mailing them off to a special lab for a diagnosis.
Yes, senior year was very memorable for me, but in another way. My mind was wrapped around my grandfather's untimely death and praying to God that wouldn't happen to me.
While everyone else prepares for their future, I just prayed I had a future.
While everyone else was finding out what colleges had accepted them, I was being told I had a rare genetic blood disease.
No, I don't regret my senior year, it was just a rough time for me. My life was falling apart.
While all around me everyone else's life was just beginning. I was stepping into the unknown.
I don't think I could have survived that year without my friends and family and most important I can never go a day in my life without my God.
I tried to hide my disease for years. Because I was ashamed of being sick. I tried to act normal around other people, and not let on that I was sick. But, how can I hide my life from the world? And most importantly how can I hide how much God has done for me, how many times he healed me, and spared my life? My sickness may not be fun and I may face an uncertain future, but the truth is none of use are guaranteed tomorrow, and I guess I just found that out sooner than most.
It wasn't just senior year that was rough on me, my sickness started sometime in junior high maybe even the end of elementary school. Those were the worst years of my life. Thankfully I have a God that has got me through all the rough times in my life and showed me that even though I face no certainty of tomorrow, because I have turned my life and heart over to God and have accepted him as my Lord and Saviour, I do face the certainty of seeing him in glory.
Ashamed, not of where I come from, but what I deal with that I try to hide.
I'm ashamed of part, no most of my life.
There's nothing I can do to change it, believe me I tried.
Senior year of high school is probably the most memorable time for everyone.
High school football games, senior class trips, etc. Those were the days.
I spent very few times at football games that year. My senior class trip was to the doctors office.
Yes, senior year while everyone else was having fun, I was being poked, pricked, sucked of my blood till I came to hate the sight of a needle.
I was x-rayed, cat scanned, scanned with fancy equipment I didn't know existed before. I had to spend several entire weekends collecting my urine and stool specimens, refrigerating them, and mailing them off to a special lab for a diagnosis.
Yes, senior year was very memorable for me, but in another way. My mind was wrapped around my grandfather's untimely death and praying to God that wouldn't happen to me.
While everyone else prepares for their future, I just prayed I had a future.
While everyone else was finding out what colleges had accepted them, I was being told I had a rare genetic blood disease.
No, I don't regret my senior year, it was just a rough time for me. My life was falling apart.
While all around me everyone else's life was just beginning. I was stepping into the unknown.
I don't think I could have survived that year without my friends and family and most important I can never go a day in my life without my God.
I tried to hide my disease for years. Because I was ashamed of being sick. I tried to act normal around other people, and not let on that I was sick. But, how can I hide my life from the world? And most importantly how can I hide how much God has done for me, how many times he healed me, and spared my life? My sickness may not be fun and I may face an uncertain future, but the truth is none of use are guaranteed tomorrow, and I guess I just found that out sooner than most.
It wasn't just senior year that was rough on me, my sickness started sometime in junior high maybe even the end of elementary school. Those were the worst years of my life. Thankfully I have a God that has got me through all the rough times in my life and showed me that even though I face no certainty of tomorrow, because I have turned my life and heart over to God and have accepted him as my Lord and Saviour, I do face the certainty of seeing him in glory.
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