I do NOT blame God!!

I too have gone through the grief process with having porphyria. I went through the why me part, to the I can get over it part, and the Denial I don't have this part. To the God can heal me and He did so I can live with this part. I understand that it is necessary to go through the grief process with any kind of illness really. Because you have to go through or at least it just seems like you do when your sick like that. Some sort of grief process anyways. I started mine when I was in junior high. After I had been really sick and it wasn't going away. And I think I just come to terms with it just this last year or so, cause I would go through my denial phases where I don't have this, I can do anything stage!! WRONG! Anyways, I agree God does not put on us more than we can handle. But I also have a weird outlook on things myself. I don't think God gave me this diease, I don't think God gave the lady at my church cancer, I don't think God made any little baby be born deformed, I don't think God causes anyone to commit a crime, I don't think God is reasonible for any kind of sickness or cruelty in this world, rape, murder, etc. Because God created a good and perfect world. He created man and woman good and perfect. And WE chose to sin. With sin came sickness, and death. It wasn't God who created those things. We did. The person who murders someone is responsible of their own actions, no body else. You can say he was tricked by the devil, but even the devil didn't comit the crime, that man did. The devil lays all kinds of temptations for everyone, he alone brings in bad to this world, but the people who fall into those tempations are responsible for their own falling, their own actions and sins, no one else, not even the devil. So to me God did not make me with any kind of sickness. He made me a perfect body. As for gentic disorders well my theory is that through each generation with sin and coruptness they some how get worse. Like our body mutates or something. I know it sounds weird, but I have a HUGE problem with people who blame God for ANYTHING, sickness, death, a crime, anything. Because it's NOT HIS FAULT!! He didn't create the crime in this world, people did. And with sin comes all sorts of other things. So even though I do have a rare blood disease, that is uncurable, to some extent untreatable, and has already tried to take my life, and may yet try to take it again, I DO NOT and WILL NOT blame God for it, because I know God did not give it to me, sin did. Look on the positive side of life, there's always a silver lining. I guess no matter what happens, no matter what the devil throws my way, no matter how sick I get, no matter what people done or will do to me, I will always belive in the goodness and perfect grace of Jesus Christ, and I will always know that God is GOOD and no bad comes from good. And that's how I know He died for us, that's how I know He came to save us, that's how I know I had to put my complete faith and trust in Him and NOBODY ELSE! He alone gives me the strength each day to even get out of bed, He alone gives me the happiness I feel through the storms I face EACH day of my life. He alone gives me grace to slid through the storms and overlook all the bad that seems to come my way, it's HE ALONE that GETS ME THROUGH EACH DAY!!!