Life

Some people look for the easy way out in life. But I say it doesn't matter what happens, what your going through, how much pain it causes. Life is always worth carrying on. I've been in a lot of pain in my life, even close to death, but in the eye of death I do not think about dying, I think about living. Here's a little something that I wrote about living life even through pain and tragedy, cause your not living unless you've survived some pain somewhere.

In pain there is suffering
In suffering there is hope
In hope there is joy
In joy there is life.

Live life to the fullest, even through your tragedy's and pains, cause life is worth living, God is worth praising, and joy is worth having.

Fusion

Infused by blood that's against me.
Tortured by pain that's inside me.
Bruised by others lack of understanding.
Stuck in a world that don't seem to care.
Trying to understand and make some sense of it all.
Falling through the cracks of my misunderstanding.
Wondering when this disease will be cured and quit plaguing me.

But knowing that God is always with me, and understanding that
He'll hold my hand and guide me.

MR. Mail Man

Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me a treat...
Send me some packages just for me.
A few boxes of some makeup, Then how about a few imported chocolates?
Oh Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me some treats...
Can't you do this one thing for me?
I know you at the post office know how to perform some magic.
Mr. Mail Man please... Bring me some treats...
No bills though please...
Only packages filled with goodies, or how about a new wide screen tv?
Mr. Mail Man please don't delay, patience isn't with me today.
I'm looking for you, won't you hurray up please! Mr. Mail Man!!

I can carry on for Christ!!

So you all know I have this rare gentic blood disease. And being that, it can cause me a lot of pain. There are days where I think I'm going to die because the pain is just too much for me to bear, it's too much for anyone to bear. It's as if I'm being operated on alive, and there are sharp knives stabbing me all over my body. And I pray to God for mercy, and He always shows me mercy. But one thing that gets me through the pain and suffering I go through since my disease is one of the most painful diseases out there. When I'm being attacked by the pain I think Christ died on the cross for my sins, all are sins, if He can bear that much pain, more so than any human would ever have to bear, surely I can get through this. And Jesus by the mercy of God gets me through it. Cause I know that Christ beared a lot more pain than I'll ever have to. And He always has and always will see me through my hour of pains.

The Blood of Jesus is on the Door Post of My Heart

In the old testament of the Bible God sent plagues to Egypt because they would not let Israel go. One of the plagues was every first born child would die. But God told Moses to have all the children of Israel to put the blood of a lamb on the door post of their houses and the death angel would pass over them. So they did this, and all the ones that had the blood on the door post of their house the death angel passed over, but the ones that did not, the angel of death came in and took the first born child.

Today we wonder how this could apply to our lives. Well it symbolizes the blood of Jesus. When Jesus died on the cross He died for everyone that had ever been born, to every one that was already alive, to every one that ever would be born. He died for the entire world to cover a multitude of their sins. But He can't cover your sin if His blood is not applied to the door post of your heart.

How do you get the blood of Jesus applied to the door post of your heart? First you must realize that you are a sinner. We are all born into sin. Then you must confess your sins to God, ask Him for forgiveness. And mean it in your heart, you MUST have a change of heart for God to come in and apply the blood of Jesus to your heart.

But, once you do accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, accept that He died on the cross for everyone's sins, for your sins, and on the third day God rose Him from the grave. And you are a new creation in Christ and the old things passes away and all things become new. You will feel so much lighter, you won't be burden down by your sins and the weight of guilt you carry. And when the angel of death comes by the door post, he will pass over you because you have the blood of Jesus applied to your heart. Now, I don't mean you won't ever die, but I refer to the angel of death as satan, and on judgment day, satan won't have anything on you. "The hold the devil had on me, he ain't got no more."

My life in Christ is glorious. I have problems every day just like every one. But, I take my problems to the Lord, and He provides me with the answer, or the strength to carry on. We must carry on, we must carry on for Christ.

Update 10/23/14

To this day I will take my hand and pray for our house and safety by applying this bible story to my life today. I take my right hand and move it over the door post of my door, I start with the left side of the door at the bottom and go up then I go to the middle from left to right then I go to the right side from top to bottom. I know that me doing that doesn't put anything on the door, it's just a way of praying that I use, I don't actually touch the door just use my hand in the motion of the blood being applied to the three sides of the door. It's my way of saying The Blood of Jesus is Here, and for satan to leave me alone.

The old comes back and the safe is unsafe!

Just when I thought it was over, just when I thought it was gone.
I wake up and find that my sickness has not yet run the test of time.
I find myself wallowing in a bed of despair. My sweat soaks through my bed, my body, my hair.
My blood is not normal neither is my life. I strive to work for God, and somehow I lagged behind. I know I've got to do better, I know that I can.
I know I still have it in me, cause I still hear the Angel's hymns. I know I still have it in me cause I still knew when the worst would be done.

This morning I found myself throwing up, sweat rolling off of me, my blood is somehow against me. This morning I found that old things die hard and that the sickness may never be done, but by the help of my God Jesus I am and I can overcome! AMEN!

God knows and is Waiting.

I know I grunt, moan, kick, and fight. But I really just want a normal life. I try to hide the way I feel, the pain I'm in, the tears I shed. I try to hide myself from the world. But I can't hide from everyone. God knows my heart and my hurts and pains, He knows my feelings, and every single ache and mistake I've made. He knows I'm tired and scared, and his hand is reached out to help me cope with all this. I know God understands me, he is the one who created me. I know he heals my hurt and pain, cause when I'm at my lowest he always brings me to higher ground. I know that I wouldn't be here today without the help of God and his mercy and grace. I know that God is watching me and has a pair of angels out to guide me. I know that God is here today, I feel his presence, mercy, and grace. I know that God loves me he hung on a tree and shed his blood for you and me. I know that God could do the same for you, if you let him in. Open up the flood gates of your heart, let go of your pain, forget about your past mistakes, and show God your ready for a change. God is ready to take you in. Will you open up for him?

Painful Accommodations

Wiffled by pain inside myself. Stuck by pricks of undefiend health.
Traveling in labor of no apparent kind, sharp knives stick, point, and grind at my insides.
Wallowing in ballows of pain, lights going out on a clear day. Spots appear and my eye sight fades as I grope for the bed and some relief of any kind.
Pain pills won't do it, heating pads can't help, I'm grumbled into a gigantic painful mess.
God, I cry in my desperation, please save me from my hour of these painful accommodations.
So I wait on the Lord, as He is my strength and slowing I regain sight and speech. My mind clears of painful thoughts, my body frees of painful pricks.
I know the Lord has been merciful to me once again. I know the Lord has saved me from myself, my pain, my mess. Thank you Jesus!

Some of my Makeup Favs...

~Lotions, Victoria Secret and Bath and Body Works are my favorite, others I love too!!

~Cleansers, Some brands I like, I'm constantly changing my cleasners, LOL! Bliss, Murad, Peter Thomas Roth, MD Skincare, Cosmedience, Estee Lauder, Lancome, Sephora, Philosophy etc.

~Moisturizer, same thing with the moisturizers as with the cleansers, same brands, always needing more moisturizer!

~Mascara, Fav is Benefit BadGal Plum, but Love all different kinds, I like water proff ones well and also plumping or thickening ones, mostly color in black, except benefit, lol!!

~Eye Makeup Remover, different brands, right now I'm using L'oreal.

~Concealer, different brands, I use em all, light preferred, maybe medium, mostly light. Some I'm using now are Estee Lauder, Bed Head fix it stick, and MAC.

~Shampoo and Conditioner, Philosophy 3 in 1's love these!!! Tigi Bed Head Dumb Blond or Catwalk Oatmeal and Honey, love them. I also am a sucker for Herbal Essences, they just always smell soooo good!!!

~Masks, I use all different kinds and am always in need of backups!!!

~Hair treatments/styling products, any. My fav brands are Bed Head, Pantenee, Ojon, etc.

~Bath bombs or soaps, these are such fun and so cute!! Usually smell good too!

Now if your wondering how in the world does this girl go through so much stuff, LOL, the answer is I don't, I share with my mom! So when she runs out of stuff she comes to me as in her words "It looks like I have a department store in my bathroom" LOL!!! So I'm constanly looking for backups, or sometimes I even slip and run out before I even know about it, Yikes!!!

About Me and My Disease...

I have a Rare Genetic Blood Disease! It's called Porphyria, there are different types of Porphyria. I have CoProPorphyria. You can't catch it, unless your my child then you've got a 50% chance of getting it. I've been very sick my entire life. I used to be a lot sicker than what I am now, but by the Grace Of God I am alive and have made it this far. It's a long story about my sickness, so I won't bore you with details. But I'm only 26 and I've had this my entire life! I'm trying to cope with "growing" up and not being able to do normal things as other people my age. I don't have the energy I should to do the things I need. But with the help of God I make it through each day. At one point the disease was about to take my life, but God being merciful towards me saved me from death. Anyways, I am sick, and most of the time I'm in denial and don't like to admit it, but I am. I don't know what all there doing for cures, but I do know it is tough to find a cure or treatment for a blood disease. Because it's our blood, it's not like it's a virus you can kill, we need our blood to live and unless they can completely regenetize the blood, I'm not sure what can be done in way of a cure. There are treatments, but it for when it's beyond bad. I guess cause the treatment could be worse than the problems we have. Anyways, so aside from the fact I live with a smoker, (which doesn't help my porphyria out) and that I have a rare blood disease, the only other thing to know about me is I'd like to become a makeup artist and finish beauty school. I started, but all the chemicals (blood disease affected) made me sick and I had to take a break. If it's totally impossible for me to be around all the chemicals all day, I am going to get my journalism degree as I love to write and have all my life. Ok enough about me, just thank God that He still heals people today, I'm living proof of that, I have faith beyond reason, and I know that someday all these diseases everyone can get will all be ok.

Ramble on Rachel!!!

Don't you all just love my ramblings!!! Well here's some more delights of mine for your ears only!!

~A empty makeup bag is a sad sight to behold!

~Get up, look at makeup, eat, look at perfumes, brush teeth, look at clothes and shoes, fix hair, look at makeup, perfumes, clothes and shoes, look at makeup perfume, clothes and shoes, look at makeup, perfume ,clothes, and shoes, oh I could do this all day long!

~It's better to pray and humble yourself when your makeup clouds your mind.

~99 bottles of OPI on the wall, 99 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was OPI and Apple pie, 98 bottles of OPI on the wall, 98 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Siberian Nights, 97 bottles of OPI on the wall, 97 bottles of OPI take one down pass it around it was Coney Island Cotten Candy, 96 bottles of OPI on the wall, 96 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Mother Road Rose, 95 bottles of OPI on the wall, 95 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Buy Buy Tokyo, 94 bottles of OPI on the wall, 94 bottles of OPI, take one day pass it around it was Catherine the Grape, 93 bottles of OPI on the wall, 93 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around, it was Can't Help Falling In Love, 92 bottles of OPI on the wall, 92 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Nomad's Dream, 91 bottles of OPI on the wall, 91 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Fit For A Queensland, 90 bottles of OPI on the wall, 90 bottles of OPI, take one down pass it around it was Suzi Loves Sydney, I could go on forever, I could go on forever, we've established that I love OPI and I have too much imagintion. Oh once more, 99 bottles of OPI........

Best Makeup Brands Ever!!!

The best possible makeup brands ever are: (In no particular order)

~Benefit Cosmetics
~Too Faced
~Chanel
~MAC
~Urban Decay
~Bliss
~Philosophy
~Peter Thomas Roth
~Murad
~Estee Lauder
~Dior
~Smashbox
~Calvin Klein
~DHC
~Laura Mercier
~Sephora
~Nars
~Stila
~Dr. Brandt
~Colorscience
~Hard Candy
~OPI
~TIGI-Bed Head
~Lancome
~Cosmedicine

The Right to Die?????

If you've been reading the newspapers or watching TV recently you will have found out that Obama has put into effect some kind of right to die program. Such as when "the doctors or whoever thinks there playing God, decides you won't have a quality life, they can assist you in killing yourself, legally." This is murder, suicide, and biblical and morally wrong! And frankly concerns me a little. Euthanasia is the worst possible invention man kind has created, legally assisting people to die because they are terminally ill. BUCKLE UP PEOPLE! Your in for a ride of your life!! I find this appalling for someone who has been greatly ill, but has chosen to believe in a power beyond myself to heal me and make me whole again. Quality of life, is when you realize that life is a gift from God and that no man or woman has the right to take it away, unless they will be held accountable for it as murder before God on judgement day! I can't believe that anyone would want to die, I have seen death, and people it ain't pretty!! Death is something you don't want to face unless it is your time to go, and no one, I repeat NO ONE has the right to decide when your time to go is BUT GOD HIMSELF!!! When the medical profession decides to stop looking for cures, to stop curing, to stop caring and just to place a stamp on someones records as time to die, that frightens me. I can not understand why on earth people have become so inhumane, cruel, cares more about PET RIGHTS, than HUMAN RIGHTS! WAKE UP AMERICA, DO YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THE S&*T HOLE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU CAN'T HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR IN THEIR TIME OF NEED, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, WHEN YOU BECOME TERMINALLY ILL YOURSELF, WOULD YOU WANT US TO JUST PLACE A STAMP ON YOUR PROFILE AND SAY TIME TO DIE AND NOT CARE TO HELP YOU, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is truly amazingly wrong and tells me that America has lost her heart, her soul, and worst of all her conscience. When killing people is legal, when suicide is the cure, when God is someone of the past, America has gone to the dogs, and frankly I miss the old days where people actually cared about people, that's what made us America, the right to a better life, the right to care about ourselves, our family, our neighbor's, our friends, the right to want to help total strangers in their time of need. But thanks to Obama we now can legally kill ourselves. What a sad, sad, sad waste of time, life, and energy. Obama your wrong, the quality of life is when God says LET THERE BE LIFE! And you don't have that power to take it away from us!!!

I Am Blessed!

I am blessed! I was thinking on my illness and reading stories of other people with the same condition as me, and I truly am blessed! Sometimes it's hard not to feel sad or frustrated about having a rare condition, because it casues so many problems. But, for me when I was sick the most I turned to God. And I always turned to God, I still turn to God to this day. Doesn't matter what you believe about God, the fact is He healed me and He continues to heal me each day, it is a miracle I have made it this far, it is a miracle He healed me when I was my sickest and about to die, it is a miracle just to have life. Anyone whoever experienced a death experience knows not to take life forgranted, your blessed to be alive and any moment could be your last, so don't waste your time here on earth, or you may end up to regret it. But, I've come so far in the last few years, and God has contiuned to heal me over and over again. I am so blessed that I do not have the horrific symptoms I did 10 years ago, I am blessed God took them away, I am blessed I'm in mimanl pain compared to what I was before, I am blessed!! Have faith and you shall receive!

My Porphyria Story, sort of, excluding the gross parts!!

OK, here's my story, if your interested. It all started when I was in junior high. I started having major stomach pains, sometimes it would just be dull pains, while others would feel more like stabbing knife pains or in extreme cases like a thousand knives carving out my insides. I was always really thin and could never gain any weight, 5' 7" 100 pounds, yeah looked sick. I always had yellowness to my skin on my face. I would have extremely awful periods. Where I've been admitted to the hospital because of my period alone, that bad! My period has been known to make my blood pressure fall really low, pass out, get white spots where I can only see white spots and everything else is blurry. Anyways, it was bad. But I always believed in God and I always believed that he could heal me. So I would pray all the time and ask God to heal me. I would also go down to the altar at church and be prayed for God to heal me. Anyways, so I would go to the doctor and they would do all kinds of tests, test after test after test. Finally in my senior year of high school they told me I had a rare blood disease called Porphyria. It wasn't until later that I found out I had CoProPorphyria. Anyways, there is no cure for Porphyria, so we just have to flow with it. NO FUN!! But anyways, one night I got really sick and I truly believe I was going to die, long story short God saved me that night and healed me and took away a lot of the pain. I quite having real bad periods (although sometimes I do get the not so fun ones, but nothing like what they use to be, I do get weak and dizzy though) But I no longer have the stabbing knife or thousand knives carving out my inside pain. Sometimes I get sharp pain, but again nothing like it was before. I quit having the yellowness about my skin and started gaining weight and feeling better. Although I am limited to my daily activities. I do get weak and dizzy, and I don't always have the energy I should have, and I do have weird pains all over my body, but God has truly healed me because from what I experience years ago, it was life or death, now it's so much better than it was I am thankful for his touch. Anyways, thought I'd share my story with you. I didn't go into all the details, you don't want to know the truly gross parts. LOL!

~Rachel ;)

Ode to Electricity

My Ode to Electricity, sung to the tune of home on the range! Wrote during the last ice storm where we had no electricity for four days!!

Oh give me a home where the power acutally works and the water is hot all day.
Where the fridge works and the food will stay cold and not spoil on my plate.
Oh home home with the lights where have you been all my life?
I'm so tired and cold, can't see the end of my nose and now my little candle is running low!
Oh home home with the lights hot water to bathe by,
Where I won't be cold and end up with pneumonia just trying to take a bath.
Now the trees are all falling down, the roads has limbs all around, and I can no longer see my neighbor's house!
Home home where's my lights?And my hot water to bathe by? Heat on my feet so they won't freeze and my toes turn blue and stiff! Well now my lights fading out, I think I'll go lay down, under twenty blankets or so just trying not to be cold and think of Tahiti and not snow!!

The Lord of the Hills

Up on a hill far away stood the Lord of all. The Lord who stood in our place on our judgment day. The blood of tears he cried for us, the moans of hell he moaned for us, the weight of sin he carried for us, our pain and suffering he felt for us. Despised and rejected of men, yet he still stood strong for us. Yet we rejected him, we turned our backs on him, but he never failed us. How did we deserve such a great God? We don't, but he deserves us, deserves our attention, deserves our time with him. And so I gave him my heart. Just like I hope all of you do. Jesus died for us on Calvary more than 2,000 years ago, but what he did for us then and what we are to do for him today is still them same. It's always be the same, the same in 1801, the same in 1902, the same in 1957, and the same in 2009. Over and over again the same question is asked throughout the decades, what can I do for Christ? And so the answer is the same for everyone in every time period, in every part of the world. It's so simple, I can't believe I didn't realize it before now. What does God want us to do? God wants us to come to the cross, accept him in our lives, and let his blood wash away our sins. And to take the story of Jesus dying on the cross to all the world. Now we may all spread the story of Jesus living, dying on the cross, and rising from the grave to live again in different ways. Some may be preachers and preach the words of Christ. Others may be actors and act out stories about Christ. Others may be singers and sing about Christ. Others writers and write about Christ, others teachers and teach the words of Christ. There are thousands of other ways we all can serve Christ with our life here on earth. But they all have that common denominator to tell the news about Jesus. It's time the world knew there is a God, and not just any God, but a wonderful God who scarified for everyone on earth and came down from Heaven above, left all his splendor, to die on a cross for all of our sins. To free us from an eternity of hell and pain and to save us from our sins. I can't think of a better way to live all eternity then in Heaven by Jesus' side, praising God forever.